This is My Peri-Menopause

Nobody told me that peri-menopause would turn me into a hypercritical, overthinking, overheating mess who woke up with sickness inducing anxiety after a sleepless night invaded by night sweats and chills.

Then there’s the headaches, brain fog, exhaustion, depression, poor concentration and memory that come and go with such intensity and extremeness but little cyclical connection that I began to believe I was losing my mind.

I thought ‘the change’ would pull me from my 40s into my 50s ranting and raving at the world, kicking and screaming against the unfairness of being female.

But no I instead feel hollow, as if someone has taken a spoon to my insides and scooped out all my anger, all my drive rendering me a bit pathetic, sickeningly nervous and seriously sweaty.

The woman I am today is such a stranger to me I couldn’t even conjure her up in my imagination.

peri-menopause has changed me and I hate it

I turned 44 last week and for the past couple of years I’ve been asking my doctor to do something about the hot flushes, headaches and night sweats I’d been sporadically having.

Initially I was told, at 41, that I was too young to be peri-menopausal and refused tests. Then at 42 instead of investigating where my hormones stood another GP put me on the contraceptive pill to ‘help with my symptoms’.

But about eight months ago my original sweaty symptoms received the very unwelcome additions of anxiety, depression and lack of confidence, with a side order of insomnia, brain fog and concentration problems.

Recently, despite taking Logynon without fail, all the symptoms have increased in intensity and the length of time they spend torturing me. They turn up almost every month regularly but without regularity – I never know when they’re coming they just turn up when they feel like it and knock the absolute fuck out me.

My periods only last for two or three days but are so heavy I need two extra long, extra thick towels at a time.

I’m a self-confident person. I believe in me and I believe in my ability. But when the emotional shitstorm of hormones attack me I can I can barely bring myself to speak to people. I definitely couldn’t even consider standing up for myself or arguing my point (not the greatest symptom to have in a newsroom!). And I question my judgement on everything making me a hypercritical overthinking (overheating) mess.

I can cope with the physical symptoms – I have been for at least a couple of years now – but I can’t cope with this emotional super killer downward slide .

I’ve been to see a new GP who can’t believe I’m experiencing these symptoms while taking the pill!?!

She’s sent me for blood tests to check more than my hormone levels just in case it’s something else. We’re both aware that taking the pill will affect how my hormones appear in the results.

We’ve discussed HRT options and I’m most likely going to go down the Mirena coil route for the constant progesterone and an oestrogen patch.

A friend suggested I go down the ‘change your menopause with diet’ route instead of pumping my body full of synthetic hormones that are so bad for me.

I said: “I’ve put hormones into my body for years taking the pill. So I will happily ram a bucketful of hormones into my system if it makes me feel like myself again.”

Peri-menopause Symptoms Include:

Night sweats

Night Chills

Hot flushes

Weight gain


Disturbed sleep





Brain fog

Memory problems

Concentration problems

And so much more because it turns out every woman’s menopause is different.

If you think you may be experiencing peri-menopause symptoms please visit your doctor. And don’t be fobbed off like I was, state your symptoms and what you believe is wrong with you and how you’d like to be treated.

It’s your body and its your peri-menopause.


About mumtoteens

mum to two teens and a toddler - not a easy mix tbh. The oldest is 18, the middlest is 13 and the baby is 2 and we live a life full of love and chaos. View all posts by mumtoteens

2 responses to “This is My Peri-Menopause

  • Delia

    I’ve had symptoms of this and that for last two years. Tight chest…thought was stress. When the anxiety, shaking, blurred vision, and chills hit me in December ’17, I was at a loss! I know so many women and all breezed through my hell! From gynae to gynae, HRT put me to sleep. Couldn’t work, people thought I was going mad. Got the IBS to add to it and my ears opened to such an extent my acid reflux affects my ears. There’s not one day that goes by where my ears are normal. I hear now that estrogen can cause fluid rentention?? My ENT has been slow to help and between my hormones and my ears, I am going mad. I feel as if in 2018, we have regressed medically.


    • mumtoteens

      Hi Delia
      I’m sorry you’re feeling so bad. Why didn’t anyone tells us menopause would cause these crazy symptoms? I thought it just meant the end of my periods, job done!
      I’m now way beyond peri-menopause and into early menopause. I’ve been on HRT for a year and it saved my life. The thought of the coil terrified me so instead I suffered the symptoms from hell for another two years before I finally bit the HRT bullet.
      I use what’s known as bio-identical HRT: estrogen patch (Estraderm) and progesterone pill (Utrogestan). They have quite literally saved my life and I’d recommend them to anyone. If the type of HRT you tried wasn’t bio-identical please consider trying it, it might work for you.
      I’ve also experienced some really weird ‘inflammation’ that caused me to have lots of sinus infections, headaches and a blocked eustachian tube in my ear. Nothing helped until I gave up sugar (again). I really didn’t want to give it up again cos I love it (I shouldn’t be eating it at all due to a prior diagnosis of insulin resistance) and fought it for as long as I could but 3 months eating Low GI and I haven’t any recurrence of those ‘inflammation’ symptoms. It might be something for you to look into.
      I hope you get to the bottom of your symptoms soon and manage to get the help you need to feel well again.
      Take care.
      Mumtoteens x


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